Reinventing Yourself after Trauma
“It’s never too late to be what you might have been.”
O L D Trauma + New Y O U
It’s 2023, and you’ve either made it through your trauma entirely, or you are still working through it. Regardless of which statement applies, I am incredibly proud of you. I know the process hasn’t been easy, so make sure you are taking the time to acknowledge your wins.
With that said, are you the same person right now that you were before the trauma impacted your life? I’ll be the first to tell you I am not a fraction of the same person I was 10, 6, 3, or even one year ago! Trauma has changed me mentally, physically, and emotionally - and not always in the best way. Over the past two years, I realized I needed to reinvent myself. If you’ve had similar thoughts and want to work towards a new you - let’s get into this latest blog post!
re·in·vent
verb
change (something) so much that it appears to be entirely new.
New Mindset.
〰️
New Results.
〰️
New Mindset. 〰️ New Results. 〰️
During the T R A U M A
Old habits that I refused to break. Toxic behaviors that I continued to display because “that’s who I’ve always been.” Or better yet, I continued to show unhealthy behaviors due to trauma. Loving people that didn’t love me. Pushing away people that would've done anything for me. I was throwing my all into my work because I was unhappy outside punching a clock.
Something. Had. To. Change. Or should I say, someone?
Excerpt from Reinventing yourself: 10 ways to realize your full potential by Shonna Waters, PhD.
The above-referenced excerpt had me in a chokehold for a few days. The amount of work that goes into genuinely reinventing yourself after encountering any trauma is insane! Reinvention requires you to understand that you (may have) become the problem at some point - and now have to become the solution.
-
You’ve identified a need to change who you are because of who you want to become. That’s progress!
Understand that progress is a process and one that takes time. Pace yourself; this journey is a marathon, not a sprint.
-
Reinventing yourself will prove to be challenging at times. Best believe your confidence will lower during this process, and you will question your worthiness at one point or another.
Why didn’t you make different decisions?
Why couldn’t you do this before subjecting yourself to trauma?
Why are you losing people when you’re finding yourself?
Those questions and many more may come across your mind, but remember to give yourself grace and love yourself no matter what. Intrusive thoughts come, and they go.
-
I’m just going to be honest - if this is not your first attempt at changing, those in your life may not be so easily convinced.
Depending on your “history,” people will lean more towards expecting your history to repeat itself. I know that may hurt you, especially when you intend to change this time.
Just remember that you are doing this for yourself - first and foremost. So while it’s natural to want others to see the best in you, make sure you see it yourself. The rest will come in due time.
It won’t be easy…
Listen, nothing about reinventing yourself will be easy. I’m not even going to lie to you. Truthfully, you’ll want to give up a few times initially. You’ve been you all of your life, perhaps just a few different versions of you - but still you.
The difference between producing a new version of you and an entirely new you can best be described by the mere definitions of the words “version” and “new”:
Ver·sion (noun) - a particular form of something differing in certain respects from an earlier form or forms of the same type of thing.
New (adjective) - not existing before, made, introduced, or discovered recently or now for the first time.
“You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.”
“Trust Yourself”
The most important part of reinventing yourself is trusting yourself despite the trauma you’ve encountered. This is a significant part of the process because, more than likely - you are already dealing with others who don’t trust you.
Hyper-focus on why you are deciding to change your entire being. Don’t let self-doubt, regret, embarrassment, past decisions, actions, and outside influences discourage you from seeing this through. Stay true to yourself, hold yourself accountable, forgive those who hurt you, and take pride in introducing the world to a new you when the time comes.
